Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
