sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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