As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
