you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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