I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
