I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're too hungover to prance.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
