Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
