I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
