I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
