I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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