Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found the puke drawer
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
