AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
