He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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