vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
