please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
