I cockslap morals
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
