It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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