How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
