If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
