guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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