I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
