What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
