How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
