she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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