There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
