The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just found puke in my bra..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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