garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
