Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
