Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
