on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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