Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
