i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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