My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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