I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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