I'm sorry my penis didn't work
kristin has been a bad kristin
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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