We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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