Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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