I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
