Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
