dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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