so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
