for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A bitchslap is in order.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
