he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
