i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
