because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
