people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
