my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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