goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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