Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
