he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
