That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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